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I was bored during the Hurricane, broke out my pad of paper....and here's what I got! Happy Reading.
Microwave Ovens are soon to become a thing of the past. Researchers at the Center for Sub-Sonic amplification and Bass Labs International (B.L.I.), in partnership with the Organization for the Betterment of safe Cooking Methods are developing a new revolutionary way of cooking meals quickly and efficiently.
“It’s safer than nuking your food, that’s for sure” says Dr Caudill, the director of research at the Bass Labs center for Sub-Sonic Amplification. “Imagine cooking your food faster, crispier, juicer….just plain better, that’s what it’s all about!” “What we are doing here will revolutionize the way we cook quick, on the go meals” Charles Alsobrook, Chief Engineer at Bass Labs International explains below just how this new cooking method works.
“Imagine a device, the same size as your Microwave, but with 10 times the cooking power 100 times faster.” Of course there are some obstacles that have to be dealt with however. “Right now our biggest problem is the general public accepting this new cooking method”
Here’s how It Works:
Lasers are used to generate pulses of light directed at numerous crystalline surfaces that line the interior of the device. These crystals are man made here in our laboratories and are designed with a specific makeup so that each crystal will only generate a specific harmonic tone, a 10th of an octave above the preceding crystal. As the laser passes through each crystal it is magnified 10 fold, thus amplifying the signal that is passed to the next crystal, this process repeats tens of thousands of times until the desired “frequency” is reached that will adequately “cook” the desired food. The actual cooking process is achieved by “vibrating” on a sub-atomic level, each atom of the substance to be cooked. Whether it be as simple as water (which can be boiled in less than 2 seconds with this new method) or as complex as a Whole Turkey (2 Minutes) , it can all be done. When we break it down sub-atomically, we are creating friction between each atom itself, thus allowing food to “super-cook” By this fashion your steaks are jucier, your fries are crispier and your all around dining experience is much, much quicker.
As great as all of this sounds there is a down side. We had to overcome great hurdles to contain the intense sound pressure levels produced by our machine. New man made polymers and existing sound deadening materials were used in the manufacturing process. Because we wanted to keep the size of the device about the same size as the Microwave Oven, we had to alter the density of the materials so that more… was less. We managed to scale down 3,000 Sq Ft. of “traditional” sound deadening material into a 1 inch by 1 inch square. Sounds great right….wrong. The weight of the device is our only problem. When you condense so much raw material, the density condenses as well, meaning more weight in a smaller area. Considering that each device is covered and lined with hundreds upon hundreds of squares the weight is definatly an issue. We asked Charles how much each unit weighs and the answer was astounding. “Right now we are trying to get the weight below 1,000 lbs, we are at about 1,250 lbs now though.” I also asked josh about what sort of sound pressure levels each machine is capable of producing, in other words how loud are these things? “Well, when you are cooking something simple like say….a Hot Pocket, or Turkey Pot Pie you are generating SPL readings in the thousands of DB’s (decibels)” But we’ve safely had our machines register readings on the B&K meter up to 150,000 DB’s without breaking a sweat…or a window for that matter!” Truly remarkable.
I spoke with Director of Marketing research Dr Richard Webber and asked him when these may be available to the public. “These units will not be available to the general public anytime soon, there is the recurring weight issue as well as the power supply that still has to be perfected” So that would explain the rolling blackouts in the area then, I asked. “No comment at this time” was the answer I got.
-------------------- (((BOOM))) Posts: 22 | From: Tampa | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by jarfunkz: what is this subsonic? it means slower than sound, so are you talking about slower than sound freq? doesn't really make sense does it...
Subsonics are sound that can't really be heard but can be felt, try playing a 16Hz sinewave in your car and you'll know what I'm talking about...if you don't feel it then your sub sucks donkey****
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Can you tell us where the hell you found that out? It's interesting, but i fail to see how they would be able to generate several thousands dB's without creating a black hole or kicking out of orbit the moon...
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Actually, the correct definition of sub-sonic is something traveling slower than sound. Think of a fighter jet. They say sub-sonic and super-sonic depending on how fast the jet is going.
The correct term is infra-sonic which means sound below the audible spectrum or sound that is to low for humans to hear. eg. 18hz and below. The opposite of that is ultra-sonic which is above the audible spectrum for human hearing eg.18khz
The term sub-sonic has always been misused in the audio industries and most people just ignore is because they know what is meant. But really, we are using infra-sonic filters not sub-sonic filters.
PS. Great article. If I saw it on CNN I might actually believe it.
Posts: 340 | From: Trenton, Ontario | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
SubSonic 1. Of less than audible frequency. 2. Having a speed less than that of sound in a designated medium.
Still you have an awsome imagination and writing skills. And whoever said black whole or pulling the moon to earth, now I wanna make a flash thing with a microwave and the planet goes black and the moon startes coming closer then mars and all the other planets! HA nice!
-Ryan
-------------------- I like Audiobahn... Ok? Posts: 6 | From: Menomonee Falls, WI | Registered: Mar 2005
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Have you seen industrial microwaves? Power outlets in homes are rated for 2000W or less so much more powerful than your standard microwave will need to sit next to your dryer.
Industial mirowaves often use a 'dryer' plug. That's nuking your food.
quote:Originally posted by jarfunkz: what is this subsonic? it means slower than sound, so are you talking about slower than sound freq? doesn't really make sense does it...
Subsonics are sound that can't really be heard but can be felt, try playing a 16Hz sinewave in your car and you'll know what I'm talking about...if you don't feel it then your sub sucks donkey****
listen kid, infrasonic is below human hearing... subsonic is a made up term. sub is usually meant with speed, so slower than sound.
btw normal microwaves use 8/3, as opposed to most other outlets using 12/2. the big dryer plug is used for 220/440v...
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